Can anybody give me a bit of advice? I think im crazy or an idiot, help me please, i cant take it any more?

Right stop right there, you're not retarded. Somone who was would not be so introspective and concerned about their destructive behaviour. Plus your grasp of language suggests to me that you're of average to above average intelligence-you're certainly not backwards. Sadness is relative, do not diminish your very real mental anguish. By your own admission you're not ugly some of the time, so it follows that how come you're magically unattractive the rest of the time? What makes you think you're creepy? Perhaps you're just different, and unique. Maybe others think you're strange, but all that means is that you're not a 'sheeple' who just follows the rest of the flock. Now having said that I admit I'm no quack or shrink, but personally it sounds to me like you're depressed. This would account for your lack of motivation, concentration, memory loss and energy. It would also tick the box regarding the abject misery you're obviously suffering from. Also it would explain your predisposition to self-harm. Sleeping 12 hours a day merely signifies your apathy to life, this is also a common symptom. PLEASE go to the doctors. If I'm right and you are suffering from depression, then he wll possibly offer you councelling, and hopefully he'll prescribe you some anti-depressants. There is nothing to be worried about taking these and do NOT feel ashamed, it is NOT your fault. You may have a chemicle imbalance in your brain. Serotonin is the 'happy' hormone responsible for the feeling of well-being most people are privy to. Well when somone is suffering from depression the serotonin levels are depleted and the brain cannot produce it without help from the medication. PLEASE take my advice and make an appointment a soon as possible. This is not likely to go away, surely you've suffered enough. Give yourself a break and go to your GPs. I've felt similar, and have pesonal experience of chronic depression. I really hope the helps. If you want a natter, a moan, a whinge, a rant, whatever, why don't you send me an email. I've got big ears. YOU'RE NOT ALONE. Please take care and good luck. .